-Psalm 34:19
Have you ever had one of those days where situations don't turn out the way you've hoped and prayed, where every step you take is a purposeful fight for joy as your soul clings tightly to God's grace? When there's an inner knowing, a deep drawing towards God that assures your dependence upon Him is the only way you're getting through the day...the week...the year. I've been fighting my way through months where my prayers seem to be falling on deaf ears, whispers of doubt assail my soul, and the incessant attack of my faith under siege by the enemy is more than I can bear.
As I continued to stumble through my time in the desert, I felt as though I was languishing and surely not a pillar of spiritual strength, so of course I admonished myself agreeing now with the Assailant. But just as quick as I began to agree, a word illuminated my spirit, "If you are not firm in faith, you will not be firm at all" (Is 7:9). A glimmer of hope broke through my desert wandering, a moment of refreshing where I sat and drank heavily. When you've been wandering in the desert, gasping for water, the only satisfying drink to be found is at the well of Living Water. "Jesus said to her, 'Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again'" (John 4:13).
One morning as I fought the spirit of heaviness that sought to consume me as I struggled to focus on my joy giver, my Sustainer, I hear my daughter say in a random conversation, "Even a flower blooms in the desert when it rains." It caught me by complete surprise and I asked her to repeat what she said. This simple statement hit my spirit with such weighty and heavenly significance! Winter annuals in the desert are highly reliant on rainfall in order to bloom, just as believers are highly dependent on Jesus, our living water, in order to grow.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (Js 1:1-4). Our desert experiences are times of testing in which our heavenly Father whispers, "Persevere," but on one particular morning, when my feet were weary of the battle in which I stood, I tearfully cried out, "I don't know how!" I was drawn to investigate further this word of perseverance since it is "the one who perseveres under trial who will gain the crown of life "(Js 1:12). Taking a closer look at the Greek definition of the word, Hupomeno, I was astounded to see it's meaning: "to abide under." To abide? And then it hit me, our heavenly Father allows desert experiences as a means of drawing us to deeper abiding and utter dependence upon Him as a means of strengthening our faith as Paul would conclude in 2 Cor 12:10 whereby he proclaims, "for when I am weak, then I am strong." When James exhorts us to persevere, he is in essence shouting, "Abide under God in your burdensome place!" Although our burdensome places are at times exhausting, extremely difficult, and last far longer than we think we can handle, we are able to endure bravely and trustfully abiding with hope "as our sure and steadfast anchor of the soul" (Heb 6:19). While God never promises to reveal thorough understanding of our trials, we can be confident that God indeed is working all things for our good (Rom 8:28). So remember, the next time you are stumbling through the desert and it begins to rain, you're just about to bloom!
I hope that your day was not that hard.
ReplyDelete