A Parent's Words

                                                    

        Today, there is much at stake in what we say. Words plummet from our mouths brandishing unlimited influence. Words boast of the authority to encourage, uplift, compliment, validate, extend hope, and promote healing. The very way our words are exhaled kiss the soul and declare life. Alternatively, words flaunt the ability to cut, pierce, provoke, irritate, anger, shatter, and destroy. Jon Bloom, president of Desiring God, writes, “People die because of something said. Tongues can be weapons of mass destruction, launching holocausts and wars. Tongues can also be the death of marriages, families, friendships, churches, careers, hopes, understanding, reputations, missionary efforts, and governments.” But, the most prevailing words that echo through the recesses of our minds are those articulated by our fathers. Because a father’s words are weighty.

As a mother, the words I declare over my children are powerful, but the words spoken by a father have a greater impact and far more lasting consequences.  Angry, careless words can drop heavy like a crushing brick stripping the blossoming woman within of worth and dignity causing her to wither inside. A father’s words have the potential to inspire, reshape, redeem, and remind the precious soul of grace, unconditional love, respect, and chivalry. The mouth of a father is a Holy Grail filled with potent words to inoculate sons and daughters against a poisonous culture filled with the enemy’s defamations. A father can be the “voice of reason” or the reason their child no longer uses their voice. Because the sum of a father’s words are weighty.

The foundation of a daughter’s securities and subsequent inadequacies are erected on the affirmation or lack thereof they receive from their fathers. King Solomon wrote, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruits” (Proverbs 18:21). A wise father knows his words can hurt more than sticks and stones and there is no such thing as an insignificant word. A wise father knows timing and tone are considerations and every single syllable has the potential to caress the soul or extinguish it. A wise father discerns that his words are weighty and he is careful to glorify God by tempering his anger in order to have a well-fathered daughter.

Womankind are born with a God given desire for affection, affirmation, and love. Every soul longs to be chosen and to believe they matter-that they have purpose. There is a heart hunger hidden in each woman reserved for their Daddy and a desire to delight him. Therefore there is no one on this earth who holds more power to ensure the thriving of a soul than a father. Ultimately our desires are a gaping hole. A gaping flesh wound inflicted in the garden when man chose woman over God. Perfection was destroyed, sin was introduced, and our souls have been gaping wide ever since. There is only one remedy for our scarred hearts. The only soul fulfillment is the love of a sinless Savior and a blood stained cross.  

He is the living Word and the eternal pre-existing Word and his very utterances created a universe beyond comprehension. The breath of the Holy One infuses our lungs and every single exhalation whispers his name pouring forth praise. Forever his word is firmly fixed in the heavens extending hope to a sin tainted world. And the most significant confession is birthed in our hearts which leads to salvation because “out of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 5:18)…Jesus is LORD! Jesus is LORD! Jesus is LORD! For that reason, our souls are diagnosed by our words since our tongues reveal our hearts. Our words exist in a circadian rhythm…daily gifts to sanctify our children who were made in the very image of God. Forgive us, Father, our soul amnesia overlooking whose image our children reflect and may our hearts consent with author Ann Voskamp to continually, “Speak words that make souls stronger,” because a parent’s words are weighty.

The Gift of Sponsorship

     I can still remember it like it was yesterday. My two little girls ages 6 and 4 were snuggled securely on my lap as we sat in front of the computer looking intently and heart-wrenchingly at the vast sea of beautiful, anticipative faces who were created in the image of our God. Each set of eyes looking back at me pierced my heart as we read story after story searching for the one God would place on our hearts to sponsor. Etched into each yearning face is a story. For some it is the loss of a parent, others it is living in a “high risk” aids infected area, the majority reside in malaria ridden areas, and many are the tiny hands and feet working for survival yet hoping one day education would be written into their lives that the cycle of poverty might be broken. Though the stories may be diverse, each one began with hope sworn identical words, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you” (Jeremiah 1:5). God is acquainted with every single story and every single child and his very knowing of them guarantees hope. As we painstakingly narrowed down the pictures and stories that tugged at our hearts, we made our decision and chose little Anna, age 6 from Tanzania. 
          

          Now it has been 6 years since our family sponsored our first child and we’ve gone on to add several more sponsorships to our family. Last Christmas, after my children began asking to become sponsors themselves, they each sat down at the computer and once again chose that special person whose lives they would impact. Because the truth of the matter is our very existence is a “mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes” (James 4:14) and our existence is not about making a life, but changing a life. Allowing our children the gift of sponsorship has given them a sense of responsibility in the transformation of a life across thousands of miles through prayer, letter writing, and gift giving. Addy, my oldest daughter, has become a beautiful spokesperson for Compassion, advocating on behalf of the children, speaking before her peers on Compassion Sunday, and forever looking for the next sponsor for the life of a child. 

     Last night I sat captivated at the Gift of Christmas Tour enthralled  with the beauty and passion of three sisters in Christ, Amena Brown, Ellie Holcomb, and Ann Voskamp. Yes, this event was sponsored by Compassion International, but sponsoring another child was the furthest thing from my mind. We had recently lost a couple of our Compassion children because their families had moved out of the Compassion service area and we had chosen new children in their place. However, as Ann Voskamp called the Compassion representatives forward, each carrying numerous folders containing the lives of children in desperate need of hope-my heart was stirred. Because during this advent season, isn’t that what we all need? What we all are starving to behold? Just a glimmer of hope in our messed up world? For some of us, we are hanging on by our last thread and we need someone to come and reweave our story and sow hope in our dark places. We need the light from heaven to peel back our darkness because light always over powers darkness. As I looked up, a beautiful young lady named Hope stood before me and her name simply beckoned me to extend the gift of hope to one of the lives in her hand. And then I saw her, a tiny girl child with braided hair with the words Central America scrawled across her card. My heart was pressed to choose her, just as Christ chose me and whispered, “You are mine” across the dark recesses of my longing soul. But, alas a moment of doubt, a second of hesitation and she was gone. The evening continued and my loving Father insisted, “Sponsor her,” but I wrestled with the internal dialog of my heart thinking surely she had been chosen by another since much time had elapsed. However, I sensed the gentleness of my Father asserting, “She’s still there.” So at the end of the evening I made my way through the crowd to the Compassion table and began swiftly scanning the sea of hopeful faces peering back at me from their folders, searching for the tiny girl child with braided hair from Central America. Then all of a sudden my eyes landed on her precious face and I gasped, not really believing, and I clutched her packet, thankful the Lord had extended a second opportunity for obedience to his will. Tears slid down my face as I clasped Holanna’s packet to my heart and I said to the representative, “I want her.” And with those words, Holanna became Cianciotto sponsored child #7…God’s perfect number. 

     Ever since I was a child I have held a deep longing to adopt and yet, I’ve had to learn to thank God for the desire while it goes unfulfilled. Although God has not given me more children to mother in my home, he has blessed me with what I like to call my “spiritual children” through Compassion. So, I have two children in Africa, one in Haiti, India, Bolivia, Mexico, and the Dominican Republic. He has called me to advocate for those who cannot advocate for themselves (Proverbs 31:9) and who are otherwise ruined by their condition. I am called to grasp hope and extend hope because if I don’t, I will pass through this life and never really live it. Hope is where the journey begins.    
If you would like to begin your journey of sponsorship, would you please consider sponsoring Francisco Emmanuel Bountin Jimenez from the Dominican Republic?

Addy is advocating for the Speak Up Compassion Campaign whereby she is "speaking up" for one child in poverty and looking for Franciscos's hope giver. Please contact me today if God has placed it on your heart to be his sponsor!

A Beautiful Reflection

                                 
     The Lord was birthing the words for this blog in my heart when I happened to see a Good Morning America clip about a “magic mirror” and a female band out of Austin, Texas called The Mrs. My curiosity was piqued. I mean what woman isn’t intrigued by the thought of a “magic mirror” that would speak positively about her reflection? As I watched the episode unfold, I was brought to tears as the magical mirror spoke positive, uplifting words of encouragement over each beautiful woman who dared to stop for a glance. (Watch here: www.themrs.com)
The Mrs. have stepped out with an innovative idea and a sure fire new hit, “I’m Enough,” challenging women in all walks of life to “kill that noise” of criticism that reigns unrelentingly when face-to-face with our reflection.
     We have bought the demoralizing lies far too long, friends, and the consequences are devastating. Anorexia, bulimia, self-mutilation, plastic surgery (to which I’ve succumbed), and measuring our self-worth by the number on a scale instead of the nail scarred hands of Christ. Each one of us is loved far more than we’ll ever know by a Savior that died for us (Romans 5:8). Prince Charming is a fictional character who sweeps the flawless princess off her feet, but Jesus Christ is the King of Kings whose blood bought our ransom and whose everlasting love for us is the embodiment of perfection.
     Several years ago I was chastising myself before the merciless mirror picking out each “flaw” my eyes deceivingly embraced. I was focused on the crinkles around my eyes, lines forming around my mouth, the too much wiggle in the tummy, and extra jiggle on my thighs when suddenly I sensed the sadness of my heavenly Father, my creator. Here his creation stood picking apart his work of art. He impressed upon my heart the truth of my criticism which was simply my agreement with the enemy. You see, Satan loves to distort the works of God and his desire is to “steal, kill, and destroy” (John 10:10) the abundant life Christ desires for us. When God created man in His image he looked at his creation and called it “very good” (Genesis 1:31). So when did we stop believing God’s word about our image which was created like him? We are a beautiful reflection of our amazing Creator, yet we have swallowed the lies of the evil one, aligning our thoughts with his, ashamed to look in the mirror or step on a scale. The last time I checked the words fear, overweight, underweight, and ugliness were not descriptions the Lord used to describe is daughters.
     Our true identity lies in Christ and he is enough. When we gaze in the mirror, we reflect the flawless beauty of chosen women who are redeemed from sin by blood spilled just for us. We have been adopted by a perfect Father who smiles at our appearance and shouts over our critical inner voice, “You are blessed, chosen, holy, blameless, loved, adopted, redeemed, and forgiven. You are mine” (Ephesians 1:3-5, Isaiah 43:1). Today when you step in front of the mirror, don’t be afraid of the image you see, embrace it as the person God created you to be. You are a beautiful reflection which represents the hand of God in a unique, inspiring, and beautiful design. 

Holy Ground

                                                 

          As I wrap up my quiet time and take the last few sips of my now cold pumpkin spice coffee; I reflect on my life recalling fond memories of my wedding day, births of my children, the numerous cities and homes I’ve lived as an Army wife, and all that my present life entails. God willing, I will reach a milestone in my life tomorrow…the big 4 0.  I certainly cannot boast of vast achievements, prestigious college degrees, world travels, or fame. I describe my life as a glorious mess of marital bliss and ugliness combined with parental successes and failures. I’m continuing to stumble through my homeschool calling year after year relying on God’s faithfulness that my inadequacies aren’t failing my children, while silently praying for spiritual growth through countless humbling experiences. I have perpetual piles of laundry, and a home that continually needs cleaning. Yet, our home boasts of moments of laughter, arguing, (inevitable?) pre-teen eye rolling, crying, forgiving and love. I half-heartedly admit to a love/hate relationship with my scale, I barely find time to squeeze in a workout (so I keep my fingers crossed I don’t find myself “squeezing” into my jeans!) I’ll admit I have an insatiable sweet tooth and my favorite junk food is Cheetos. Every four weeks I walk through the doors of the “beauty” parlor so as not to submit to gray hair; however, I’ve come to embrace my “laugh lines” which reveal a lifetime of joyful amusement! I am a die-hard Cowboys fan (which simply goes against the masses living in Houston), but I also have Kansas City blood which runs blue for the Royals, my childhood baseball team. I’m not the least bit creative or artsy like my mom, and my best rendition of drawing consists of stick figures.  I don’t have a crafty bone in my body, but being a homeschool mom, I suffer from “mommy guilt” (over many things and this is just one) which says I should attempt to offer craft time for my kids. Consequently, I only survive because of Pinterest, and yet my crafts never seem to turn out like the picture…sigh. I hate ironing and I’d much prefer going “slightly wrinkled” than waste precious time pulling out the ironing board. I can’t sew to save my life-sorry kids about all the AWANA patches that were super glued to your vests!  I have always been a bookworm, which was especially evident the year I gave my brother a book for Christmas and read it before he did! I love individual date nights with my kids, and I cherish long talks and alone time with my husband, the Colonel. Is any of this glamorous? Not at all. Significant? Yes. This is the life God ordained for me before time began (Eph 2:10). What I see as mundane and extremely ordinary, God sees as holy. When Moses encountered his burning bush experience, God said, “Take your sandals off your feet, for the place on which you are standing is holy ground” (Ex 3:5).

          As a wife and mother in the thick of marriage, sibling arguments, math problems which threaten my sanity, parental illness that renders my heart shattered, my Father decrees it all holy ground. Although most days my life is simply very commonplace, it’s also full of enriching experiences which God designed specifically for me so that I would inevitably become more like his Son. With every meal prepared, boo boo repaired, argument refereed, tears cried, patience tested, errand ran, math problem solved, science experiment flopped, stick figure drawn, prayers prayed, Bible lesson taught, and innumerable hugs given, every single moment of my life was perfectly designed by a perfect Savior for his glory and my sanctification. Honestly, turning 40 isn’t earth shattering as some make it out to be. For me, it’s simply a time of reflection and thanksgiving. In God’s sovereignty, I’m right where he wants me to be, living the life he created which is fully dependent on Him.

Living Undistracted

                                                               

As I rounded the corner of what I thought was the street I lived on during the final moments of my morning run, glancing around for a second I became utterly disoriented and realized I had turned a block too soon and was actually not headed toward home. It was in that moment of realization that the Lord whispered to my spirit, "When you're distracted, you are disoriented and not always headed in the right direction." This was a wakeup call for me as I grasped the spiritual aspect of living a life full of distractions-we might sidetrack from our destination and wind up on a path we hadn’t intended.
The Webster’s dictionary defines the word “distract” in this manner, "To turn aside, divert, to draw the attention or mind to a different object, to stir up or confuse with conflicting emotions or motives, literally to draw apart." It's this "drawing apart" that has been on my heart for some time, so when our pastor recently asked the church family to commit to fasting and praying on Wednesdays with him for an indefinite amount of time it was the beginning I needed to establish a more intentional life.
                I desired for my children to participate in the weekly fast as well, but I find it somewhat easy to give up food, but technology on the hand is a whole different story! So, with that, I decided to establish a “no technology” Wednesday. A day in which the kids and I would commit to living hands free from our computers, tablets, and electronic games in order to be more intentional about spending time together and praying. It was my way of offering my children the gift of my time and presence for an entire day. It also allowed for unhindered focused prayer times-instead of seeking the latest Facebook status, I sought the Lord.
                Living in this technology obsessed world, we are constantly plugged in and distracted from life going on around us. As I scribble my thoughts for this blog, I am sitting in the dentist office. Everyone around me is plugged in to some type of device ranging from tablets and phones to Ipods. I appear to be the only person not in touch with the techy society as a paperback book  begging to be read lies open on my lap as I scrawl words rapidly on a piece of scrap paper. As I glance around the room, I wonder if the father with his two daughters even realizes he is missing precious moments to talk with his girls and etch their beautiful faces into his memory instead of fixating on the screen of his phone? I wonder if his daughters secretly long to have a conversation with their father, but find it much easier to stay tucked away behind the hot pink tablets fashioning words to post on Facebook or their latest tweet? I’m certainly not saying I’ve never been that distracted parent. Sadly, I can admit it all too often hardly having the ability to even sit down at a restaurant without “checking in” on FB-like anyone cares. But the truth of the matter is, people do care. The ones who care are the friends or family sitting right across the table from us. When did our society become more interested in statuses than our loved ones? They are more important and deserving of our undistracted attention and when it comes to our kids, love is spelled T-I-M-E.

As parents we hold the key to creating the memories our children will take with them into adulthood. How we spend our moments are adding up and time with our children is passing quickly. Will they lovingly recall parents who were engaged, always willing to offer their undivided attention? Or will their memories be of a family who sat in the same room together each absorbed in their own version of technology while precious God moments slipped by? If we truly want to know the children God has blessed us with, we must put down the phones and stop escaping behind computer screens and embrace real life happening right in front of us. In a few short years our children will stand on a high school graduation stage ready to embark on their adult lives and for those parents who chose to live intentionally, they’ll be able to say, “I embraced the time I was given with my child, not always perfectly, but I have no regrets, I know my child and I invested in them and loved them to the best of my ability.” For those who spent their child’s years glued to a screen…well, they will eventually come to a devastating realization and the clock simply can’t be turned back. So, I conclude with Ann Voskamp, “I want to slow down, and taste life, give thanks and see God.”

As I write, I’m taking necessary steps to live a “hands free” life and it certainly is challenging. In my attempt to draw apart from technology, I have become more aware of the incessant interference  of my life with the constant bleeping of my phone beckoning me to answer that text, inquire as to who sent me a FB message, and to check my mail. The first thing I did was turn off my email notifications. Honestly, my life does not need to be interrupted by another offer from Groupon! We must intentionally starve those distractions in order to live intentionally. If you don’t starve the distractions, you’re starving your life of the “realness” going on around you. My second step was to implement one day per week to live purposely away from the hype, secluded away from the false images of Facebook and the internet that are major consumptions of time. I am convicted by the Proverbs 31 woman (whom I long to be) as it is written of her, “She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness (Pr 31:27). “The bread of idleness” literally means, “Having eyes looking everywhere.” What we focus on matters and I believe many of us are so distracted devouring the bread of idleness while our spirits are starving to death. We have neglected the true Bread of Life who promised us we’d never hunger instead exchanging it for the lie of a false god. The truth of the matter is that when you live distracted, you’re not living in the truth. How many times have you spent an hour on FB and walked away feeling poorly about yourself after ingesting all the glorious statuses and believing your life simply doesn’t measure up? Don’t get me wrong, FB has its positive aspects, but I have to wonder if it’s been hijacked as a subtle tool from the enemy distracting God’s people from the Bread of Life while offering us meager crumbs and stealing time away from God’s Word, work, prayer, and families. Remember, the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). Will we allow the enemy to continue stealing our time, killing our spiritual lives, and destroying our families and personal relationships? Think about it, when was the last time you had a face-to-face meaningful conversation with your friend or spouse? Unfortunately, we’re often too busy “tagging” our friends to actually pick up the phone and call them.

The straightforward words of Hands Free Mama, Rachel Macy Stafford, are still ringing in my ears, “Some things in life are incongruent. There are just some things you simply cannot grasp if you’re holding on to something else. To grasp what matters, you must let go of what doesn’t.” So, with that in mind, I challenge you to consider establishing a “hands free” day in your week. Deliberately create a “no phone” policy when you’re out to eat. Take time to construct meaningful conversations with your spouse. Look into the eyes of your adoring children who truly long for your attention. Let’s pray with the Psalmist, “Turn my eyes away from gazing at worthless things and revive me by your ways” (Ps 119:37). And may the mantra of our children’s childhood echo Rachel Macy Stafford’s, “So instead of being too busy, too tired, or too distracted when our children seek our love and attention, I will be ready and waiting to make them well-loved children while we can.”

Prayers for My Children...

I sincerely believe one of the most important things we can do for our children is pray for them on a daily basis. There is a war being waged in their lives that we cannot see, but we must combat through prayer. I want to share some prayers I often pray for my children with the hope of inspiring you to search the Scriptures and pray them over your children. God is faithfully watching over his Word to perform it (Jeremiah 1:12)!

Let my children's ears be tuned to the still small voice of the Spirit. May they hear the voice of God that they may use their voice to echo Him, not our culture (1 Kings 19:12).

Let the enemy's intentions of evil in my children's life be rendered ineffective like blunted arrows (Ps 58:7, Is 54:17).

In the midst of trials, may my children be confident, trusting the Lord and say, "This I know, God is for me!" (Ps 56:9, Rom 8:31)

May my children make the Lord their constant trust who do not turn away like those who go after a lie (Ps 40:4).

May they be imitators of God, not the world (Eph 5:11, Rom 12:2).

I pray they would be so strong spiritually, so compelled by divine love, that they are fully surrendered and dominated by the Lord with nothing left to self (Eph 3:19, John 3:30).

I pray God would give them one heart and one way that they would fear Him forever, for their own good and the good of their children after them. I pray God would make an everlasting covenant with them & will not turn away from doing good to them. I pray God will put the fear of Him in their hearts, that they won't turn from Him (Jer 32:38-41)

May they know the peace of being forgiven (1 John 1:9) and freely forgive others (Col 3:13, Eph 4:32).

May they persevere through trials joyfully (Js 1:2).

May they know the Word and the power of God (Matt 22:29).

I pray they would be caught when they make wrong choices and learn from their mistakes
 (Ps 51, Num 32:23).

I pray they would grow to be some of the most godly people in their sphere of influence and that God would save them from the wrong friends and save them for the right friends. I pray this for their future spouses as well (1 Cor 15:33).

May they have moral discernment between right and wrong (Heb 5:14).

May they have an appetite for good and a hatred of evil (Rom 12:9)

I pray they will have courageous willingness to stand alone under pressure (Dan 1:8-16).

I pray that all of my children will be taught by the Lord and great shall be their peace (Is 54:13).

I pray God will pour out His spirit on my offspring and his blessing on my descendants (Is 44:3).

I pray they will make their lives pure by guarding it according to God's Word (Ps 119:9).

May they have love for others and consider the poor (John 13:34-35, 1 John 4:11, Ps 41:1)

May they obey quickly, without hesitating when they hear the voice of the Lord (Ps 119:60).

Like Timothy, may they be an example to believers in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity
 (1 Tim 4:12).

May they honor their parents (Eph 6:2).

May they fear God, not man (Matt 10:28, Gal 1:10).

May they walk in humility, counting others as more significant and looking out for the interest of others, trusting God to watch over them (Phil 2:3-7).

I pray for God to sanctify them by the truth of His Word (John 17:17).

May they intimately know the Lord's voice and all other voices will sound like a clanging gong in their ears (John 10:27).

Encouragement from Women of Faith

"But I call this to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion; says my soul, therefore I will hope in him. The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him." Lamentations 3:21-25

I had the privilege of attending Women of Faith last weekend with my sister-in-law to listen to some of our sisters in Christ teach and inspire us out of the depths of pain and joy in their  lives. We had a wonderful time of learning and worshiping... in addition throw in a few grace-filled, laughable moments at the hotel (now they're laughable...at 11pm they were not)!  Furthermore, the spectacle of well over a thousand Starbuck's caffeinated, sleep deprived women meeting their dismay to encounter broken, flooding potties at Lakewood Church (we need a miracle, Jesus!) and you've got yourself a women's conference!

Despite the drama, I knew there was a message forthcoming that would speak directly to my heart. I hadn't attended a women's conference in several years, so I went expecting to hear from the Lord. I knew there was something God wanted to say to me because I could hardly sleep the night before. I know this may sound crazy, but I had a inner knowing that there was a message that Satan didn't want me to hear.

As I settled in to listen to the last speaker of the day, Christine Cain, her first words sent a shock right through  me, "You've put an expiration date on something God has never said is expired. There is something God has said to you that for some reason you've given up hope." I sat bolt upright in my seat. Christine had my thorough attention and my hand couldn't scribble the notes fast enough. I'm sharing my notes with you today because I know I'm not the only one. I'm not the only person who has given up hope on the dream God has placed in their heart and needs to be encouraged and inspired. I'm not the only one who needs their faith to be revived. I'm not the only one who needs to return to standing on God's promises instead of standing on discouragement, doubt, and fear. The truth of the matter is, friend, that when life gets hard, we begin to believe lies.

Christine read from Genesis 18:9-14, 'They said to him, 'Where is Sarah your wife?' And he said, 'She is in the tent.' The LORD said, 'I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife shall have a son.' And Sarah was listening at the tent door behind him. Now Abraham and Sarah were old, advanced in years. The way of women had ceased to be with Sarah. So Sarah laughed to herself, saying, 'After I am worn out, and my lord is old, shall I have pleasure?' The LORD said to Abraham, 'Why did Sarah laugh and say, 'Shall I indeed bear a child, now that I am old?' 'Is anything too hard for the LORD? At the appointed time I will return to you, about this time next year, and Sarah shall have a son.' But Sarah denied it, saying, 'I did not laugh,' for she was afraid. He said, 'No, but you did laugh.'"

Our posture internally is one that laughs with doubt and unbelief. We, like Sarah, eavesdrop, not really leaning into our faith because we don't really believe God is able. We never declare the truth of God's Word because we are too busy looking at the facts (our limitations and the situation) which cripples us with doubt and fear. His promises must be bigger than our doubts! Remember, God gave the promise to Abraham and Sarah when in all reality it was impossible for Sarah to conceive. The promise came when there was no chance of it happening and then came the silent years of waiting. I ask you, what is your posture when you're waiting on God? Is it joyful and faith filled or have you become a grasshopper against the giants in your mind (Numbers 13)? God isn't glorified by what I can do. God is glorified in the impossible! What impossible situation do you face today? I promise you, God is in it! Nothing, absolutely nothing is to hard for the Lord (Gen 18:14). A powerful truth that we need to cling to in the dark, doubting places is this: It's not that I am able, but that God is faithful! God prepares the womb of our faith during the wait. We are cynical and doubtful, but when was the last time you judged God faithful in your circumstances?

If you want to see Jesus in your life, look at the hard places where God has you. We try desperately to pray our way out of difficult situations, but God always has a message in the hard places. Don't try to ignore or run from them! All of our deficiencies were taken care of at the cross. The death of Jesus on the cross should NEVER hit us casually. I don't have to be enough because God is everything that I am not on my behalf. The cross wasn't just about eternity, it's about experiencing heaven daily. When life hands you hardships that leave you shaking your head thinking, "I don't get it," obey anyway. Trust God's heart when you can't see his hand.

When was the last time you believed that nothing is impossible with God? That dream you're holding, which you think has expired-that time has run out...ask God for the faith to believe again. Stop having the discouraging conversation in your mind over something God has already said and simply BELIEVE. Doubt, fear, and unbelief will always keep you out of your promised land. Again, trust God's heart when you can't see his hand.

2 reasons we don't see God's promises fulfilled in our lives:

1. We confuse our due date with God's appointed time. "For everything there is a season, and a time for every mater under heaven" (Ecc 3:1). God needs to work in us during the waiting period in order to prepare us for the promised land. Your dream will be fulfilled at God's appointed time-don't put your due date on it.

2. It doesn't look the way you want or though it would look. Do we trust that God is good and does good? "And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him" (Heb 11:6). Do you trust God in the gap among the promise given and the waiting season?

We may not see it the way God sees it, but don't give up! Believe that God is faithful. Believe that he is at work in your life during the silence. He is preparing you for your promised land that you may bear much fruit! "Truly, truly I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit" (John 12:24).
Remember, you're not able, but God is faithful!

Pulling Back the Shades Launch Team!

"...so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God." 1 Peter 4:2

     I am thrilled and honored to have been chosen as a member of the launch team to help promote the new book, Pulling Back the Shades, by Dannah Gresh and Dr. Juli Slattery!

     Is it possible for Christian women to be both sexual and spiritual? Or must we exchange one for the other? Is it God's desire for his married daughters to repress their healthy sexual yearnings while camouflaged behind "mommy porn?" God is pleased and honored when his daughters find their desires fulfilled and their sexual longings satisfied with the man he has given them as their husband. Why? Because His is the beautiful creator of sex and the author of the cravings we possess for our spouse.

     Perhaps you have read Fifty Shades of Grey and don't understand the "hype" against it. Or perhaps you're a Christian wife who was drawn into the propaganda and succumbed to purchasing the book (hoping you didn't bump into your pastor at the bookstore)! Furthermore, while reading you were secretly aroused despite the fact you felt conviction with the turning of each page. Now you are left holding a distorted view of sexual intimacy fueled by pain and humiliation instead of the self-giving love God created. If this describes you, I want to say, "I'm sorry." I'm sorry that Satan's lies are so subtle and easily bought. I'm sorry for any destruction that has come to your marriage bed, but I want to assure you we serve a God of redemption! He can take anything the accuser meant for harm and use it for good (Rom 8:28). In the words of Christian singer Jason Gray, "Nothing is wasted in the hands of our Redeemer." So I encourage you to run to the Savior and ask for his forgiveness. He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins when we ask him (1 John 1:9) and then begin following him on the road to restoration and healing.

     So, on to the question at hand, "Have I read Fifty Shades of Grey?" Let me say, with as much humility and indisbutably lacking condemnation towards others as I can convey, "No, I've not read Fifty Shades of Grey." This is one path in which God's grace enabled me to remain strong in my convictions, but just as I say this, I humbly admit I don't always choose the right path; therefore I don't saunter haughtily past those with book in hand. I simply understand through many of my own life's circumstances and consequences how crafty Satan can be.

     For those interested, here are my two (yes, only two!) reasons I have not read Shades:

1. I want to honor God through holiness. A Christian's body belongs to the Lord, is a member of Christ, and the dwelling place of the Holy Spirit. I was bought at a steep price, the blood of Christ, and am now called to "glorify God in my body" (1Cor 6:20). Christ didn't shed his blood for me so that I could continue in my former ignorance and passions (1 Pet 1:14). His calling is to be holy and any act of fornication, adultery, or any other sexual sin is committed by the believer in the Most Holy Place where God dwells (1 Cor 6:19). But you may ask, "Is erotica sin?" God's plan is for the fulfillment of sexual desire with my husband, so any sexual fulfillment absent of my husband is missing God's intention and therefore is simply the gratification of lust. We must not continue entertaining ourselves with which Christ died to free us!

2. I love and respect my husband. The Scriptures tell us "do nothing out of selfish ambition, but look to the interests of others" (Phil 2:4). Reading a book such as Shades is purely self-gratifying and not seeking the best interests of our spouse. To say you're reading it to enhance your sex life is simply a delusion. True "enhancing" can only be found within the mutual confines of the marital relationship, not through a one-sided fantasy. I love my husband too much to intentionally bring smut into our marriage bed and I respect him enough to allow him the honor of fulfilling our desires together.

     I don't need to give you a long list of reasons why this book is not suitable reading material for Christian women. When Jesus said, "Follow Me," he beckoned us to walk a narrow path that many in this world would choose to avoid. I am hopeful that Pulling Back the Shades will help women encounter authentic, god-glorifying sexual intimacy rekindling God's original design.

Blooming Through Perseverance

"People who do what is right may have many problems, but the Lord will solve them all."
-Psalm 34:19

     Have you ever had one of those days where situations don't turn out the way you've hoped and prayed, where every step you take is a purposeful fight for joy as your soul clings tightly to God's grace? When there's an inner knowing, a deep drawing towards God that assures your dependence upon Him is the only way you're getting through the day...the week...the year. I've been fighting my way through months where my prayers seem to be falling on deaf ears, whispers of doubt assail my soul, and the incessant attack of my faith under siege by the enemy is more than I can bear.

     As I continued to stumble through my time in the desert, I felt as though I was languishing and surely not a pillar of spiritual strength, so of course I admonished myself agreeing now with the Assailant. But just as quick as I began to agree, a word illuminated my spirit, "If you are not firm in faith, you will not be firm at all" (Is 7:9). A glimmer of hope broke through my desert wandering, a moment of refreshing where I sat and drank heavily. When you've been wandering in the desert, gasping for water, the only satisfying drink to be found is at the well of  Living Water. "Jesus said to her, 'Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again'" (John 4:13).

     One morning as I fought the spirit of heaviness that sought to consume me as I struggled to focus on my joy giver, my Sustainer, I hear my daughter say in a random conversation, "Even a flower blooms in the desert when it rains." It caught me by complete surprise and I asked her to repeat what she said. This simple statement hit my spirit with such weighty and heavenly significance! Winter annuals in the desert are highly reliant on rainfall in order to bloom, just as believers are highly dependent on Jesus, our living water, in order to grow.

     "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (Js 1:1-4). Our desert experiences are times of testing in which our heavenly Father whispers, "Persevere," but on one particular morning, when my feet were weary of the battle in which I stood, I tearfully cried out, "I don't know how!" I was drawn to investigate further this word of perseverance since it is "the one who perseveres under trial who will gain the crown of life "(Js 1:12). Taking a closer look at the Greek definition of the word, Hupomeno, I was astounded to see it's meaning: "to abide under." To abide? And then it hit me, our heavenly Father allows desert experiences as a means of drawing us to deeper abiding and utter dependence upon Him as a means of strengthening our faith as Paul would conclude in 2 Cor 12:10 whereby he proclaims, "for when I am weak, then I am strong." When James exhorts us to persevere, he is in essence shouting, "Abide under God in your burdensome place!" Although our burdensome places are at times exhausting, extremely difficult, and last far longer than we think we can handle, we are able to endure bravely and trustfully abiding with hope "as our sure and steadfast anchor of the soul" (Heb 6:19). While God never promises to reveal thorough understanding of our trials, we can be confident that God indeed is working all things for our good (Rom 8:28). So remember, the next time you are stumbling through the desert and it begins to rain, you're just about to bloom!

Seeking Justice

"For our sakes he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:21
    
                In the substitutionary death of Jesus Christ on the behalf of mankind, God the Father looked upon His son as if he had committed the sins of believers and perceives believers as if they had only fulfilled the righteous deeds of his sinless Son. Since believers now embrace His imputed righteousness, how then do we go about “living righteously?”

               I want to go out on a limb and say that righteous living involves justice. In fact, righteousness and justice go hand-in-hand-you can’t have one and not the other. When Jesus commanded us to “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness” (Matt 6:33), the word righteous is the Greek word, “Dikaisoune” meaning, “to be right with God and others, to be just.” So, in effect, God’s explicit command is to be in a right relationship with Him which includes salvation and subsequent sanctification as well as a calling to judge righteously and defend the rights of the poor and needy.

             I believe, too often Christian’s lives are characterized with mentally checking the boxes of religious duties and morality, but fail to consider that righteous living entails being in the forefront of justice issues. Why? Because our actions as Christians on social issues demonstrates authentic worship before God. Worship isn’t simply the prelude to the Sunday sermon! Worship is a lifestyle and justice is a relational necessity with God. Do you think I’m too far out on a limb? Let’s take a look at Isaiah 58 where God was sickened by the mock repentance and outward rituals of His people. He clearly focused on the disconnection of sin and the oppression of others and regarded feeding the hungry and acting humanely towards those in need (v 6-7). Authentic worship in the sight of our heavenly Father is feeding the underprivileged, clothing the naked, and bringing justice to the poor. It is when we empty ourselves in selfless service to satisfy the needs of the afflicted (v 10) that we overcome injustice and the insurmountable barrier to a healthy, thriving relationship with God.

              A recent study on adoption was conducted by the Barna Group in which their findings were a stark contrast to the worshipful existence we are to embody as Christians. Their results highlighted the fact that only 5% of practicing Christians have adopted (read entire article here: https://www.barna.org/barna-update/family-kids/643-5-things-you-need-to-know-about-adoption#.UuT3uennYie). So, where is the Body of Christ in this matter? How have we turned a blind eye to the helpless millions (yes, millions) of orphans globally as if this isn’t our problem? I would like to suggest two reasons. First, the children are not our kids. In his book, The Hole in our Gospel, Richard Stern explains, “If you had heard on the radio thousands of children die each year in car accidents, it would likely strike you as sad, but I doubt you would become very emotional. If instead you learned that your neighbor’s child just died in a car crash, it would hit much closer to home, and your emotional response would be much deeper. You would immediately want to respond-to comfort your neighbor and to come alongside them in their grief, helping in any way you could. But what if you learned that your own child had been killed? You would be devastated at the deepest possible level. It would be life-shattering and profoundly personal tragedy for you, one that would forever after redefine you. For some reason we are wired in such a way that we can become almost indifferent to tragedies that are far away from us emotionally, socially, or geographically, but when the same tragedy happens to us or to someone close to us, everything changes.”
 
        The second reason I believe the church isn’t responding to the cries of orphan is that we have become like the people of Sodom who are entrenched in wealth-induced arrogance and unconcern for the poor. “Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed, and unconcerned they did not help the poor and needy” (Ezek. 16:49). It is quite evident in Scripture that God cares greatly for the poor while abhorring the man-made actions that contribute to it and the indifference of the well-off.  We cannot simply continue to turn a blind eye to the millions of children suffering in this world without a home, loving family, and basic necessities when we have the ability to change their lives! My heart cries out confronting our apathetic lives with the Apostle John, “If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be that person?” (1 John 3:17) How can we claim to live righteously and justly when God looks down from His throne and sees millions of children, made in His image, digging through trash cans to survive? God’s heart is assuredly severely grieved over the millions of his children dying from hunger and not experiencing the love of the family which he created. On the other hand, I cannot begin to imagine the anguish He must feel over the millions of believers his Son died to save who are living lives of comfort and ease too rooted in the American dream to live sacrificially as He did for the life of another.

         So I ask, will Christ find evidence of genuine concern for the poor when he looks at the fruit of our lives? What new steps of faith do we need to take to love the least of these and live sacrificially as Christ? An authentic relationship with Christ demands demonstrable evidence of a transformed life. In the words of Pastor John MacArthur, “Hell will be full of people who thought highly of the Sermon on the Mount. You must do more than that. You must obey it.” To live righteously and justly, we must choose to see the image of God in others and carry restoration and healing to the lost and hurting world. I will end with a final thought, shared by Richard Stearns that should shout to the depths of our souls, “What if there are children in this world who will suffer somehow because I failed to obey God?”
“He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8)