The Popular Label

                                  
        Popular. When you hear this word, what thoughts or feelings does it dredge up inside you? If you used to be, or you’re still considered “popular,” the word probably doesn’t strike you with a sense of dread, and maybe you really don’t think much of it at all. Or conceivably it fills you with pleasurable feelings knowing that you were (or are) associated with the “in crowd.”  Popular may be one of many labels you wear, but is it the right label?
          Growing up in small town U.S.A., I wore many labels, but popular wasn’t one of them. It started in 6^th grade math class when I asked a question and a “popular” boy called me stupid in front of the entire class. Needless to say, I went through the rest of my school years not asking another question, and forever labeled in my mind as “stupid.” Entering junior high, the one thing the majority of the girls wanted was to be   a......you guessed it……a cheerleader. Of course I tried out, and to this day I can still remember the distraught group of girls who didn’t make the squad (myself included). So, my next label emerged: “Not liked,” because at that time, you were voted on by your peers thus resulting in nothing but a good ‘ol fashioned popularity contest. As middle school continued, the cliques developed, and the “pretty” girls ruled. To drive home the fact that I didn’t belong in this category either, Valentine’s Day rolled around, and the pretty girls had lockers filled with balloon bouquets and vases of beautiful flowers. The only flowers I carried were the ones that belonged to one of the “pretty” girls when she asked me to carry them out to her mother’s car for her! So, my next label materialized: “Not Pretty Enough.” Throughout the remainder of my high school years, I struggled with the labels that I was either given by others, or the labels I gave myself as a direct result of how I was treated by my peers. Labels are powerful things that directly impact the way we perceive ourselves, and the way we believe others perceive us. But, there are a couple things I didn’t understand about labels at the time. First, the only one who has the right to label us is the One who bought us which is Jesus Christ. Secondly, when we accept a label from someone else we allow them to control us. I embraced many labels through the years, and subsequently they influenced what I believed, the decisions I made, and the way I behaved.

          Fast forward a few years, and now I’m a forty-year old mom raising three kiddos, two of which are girls on the precipice of their teenage years, and already the labels are descending upon them faster than this mama can help deflect them! My heart is struggling to effectively teach my children that labels only matter if we let them, and to unconditionally love those who have labeled them; especially when those labels and exclusions are from supposed Christ followers. Yep, I said it because it’s time to face the fact that there’s a “popular” problem amongst our church kiddos. I’ve seen it on Sunday mornings, and it spills over onto Monday. Unfortunately, even as an adult I’ve experienced exclusivity and the sense of an “in crowd” within the church. Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not bashing the local church because I love the church, but I think it’s time we wake up to the division Satan is subtly infusing in the Body of Christ. Jesus said there would be one way that a person would be distinguished as a Christ follower and that was “If you have love for one another” (John 13:35). Right words don’t make right Christians. We can wear the Jesus t-shirt and speak the Christian lingo, but if we are showing partiality to certain persons to the exclusivity of others, our faith is worthless. As parents we need to take a good hard look at our behavior as well as the words we speak. We all know our children are more likely to do as we do rather than do what we say. So what type of example are we living before them? Are we living out our devotion to God by loving others despite our differences, or are we presenting our kiddos with the false notion that it’s okay to show partiality on the basis of superficial, external attributes? The “popular” label is never listed in Scripture because we’re all equal at the foot of the cross. However, there are a few labels in Colossians 3:12-14 the Apostle Paul told us to put on: Compassion, kindness, patience, forgiveness, humility, gentleness, and above all love. Our devotion to God is authenticated by our love for others. I don’t think Jesus is fond of his followers mistreating those whom he died to save. May God give us eyes to see as he sees so that we treat others as the loved and paid for souls that they truly are. Let’s commit, as Christ following parents, to authenticate our faith by putting aside fabricated labels and worldly cliques, and to become the loving change our children and our world desperately need.